scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
