What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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