i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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