..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
