don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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