So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
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What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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