Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
