True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
50% drunk capacity currently
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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