i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
