The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
