fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
