Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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