gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
