If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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