If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
