so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i would punch a child for taco bell
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
