It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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