Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize