He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
