i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Randomize
