last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Can I color on your dick again?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
