He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
