Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
