i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
