I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
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I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
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I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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