Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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