hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
