Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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