omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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