Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
