Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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