I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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