My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
