dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
