I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
