got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
