I have demons in me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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