Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The best revenge is premature balding
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
