I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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