return my video game
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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