Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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