If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He? As in you personified your dick?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
