3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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