Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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