We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
