you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
