Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
