you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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