We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
