...so i touched it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
