Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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