yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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