do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
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I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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