why do cheetos always look like penises
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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