You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
