He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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