Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
