What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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