dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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