she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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