Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
