Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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