Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
