how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
