HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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